So I haven't been on DA much lately, mostly because my internet port in my room doesn't work and I've been too lazy to get it fixed. I'm finally adding some new stuff I've been doing in my classes the past few months. We've mostly just been doing really basic projects so I'm not particularly excited about anything I've done so far. I guess I've sort of been in "what's the point?" mode lately.

Next semester my classes are pretty much the same as this semester except for a self-portrait and digital collage class. I also had to choose an introductory course for my major though I don't have to officially declare a major until next year. I'm taking Language of Form for graphic design, and I can already tell it's going to be pretty boring, probably similar to my visual thinking class- learning about color, basic design stuff, maybe font & typography etc. I know it's essential to learn the basics first but it's just a little tiresome doing basically the same projects over and over.

I'm still not sure if I want to go into graphic design or art therapy anyway. They represent pretty opposite ways of thinking, graphic design being very exact and precise and following specific standards and rules of good design, while art therapy is more "anything goes" create what you feel and forget about rules or making it look "good." I think graphic design represents the way my personality is right now, I'm a perfectionist and I'm trying to get over it...I'd love to be able to think more along the lines of "anything goes" "don't worry about making things look perfect", as art therapy suggests. Graphic design is something I'm pretty sure I'd be good at but I'm not sure I would find it very fulfilling. On the other hand art therapy I think I would find fulfilling but I'm not sure I'd be very good at it, especially since I'M the one who could probably use some therapy. Though that might not really be a big factor, I know a few people interested in art therapy who are undergoing therapy themselves at the moment. In some ways I think it could help me relate to my clients better, having been there myself.

I just need something to get me excited about art again, or about anything really. Maybe it's because before I had more of a purpose with creating art. As a kid I liked to draw just for fun, then I enjoyed trying to become more skillful with it, in high school I could be one of the "art kids" and work on preparing a portfolio. Now I feel like I'm just making pointless things to tack up on the wall for 20 minutes to be analyzed then stuffed up in a folder somewhere. I know art can be meaningful just in the process alone but lately it's been harder for me to get anything out of it. It's probably just the mood I've been in lately, I'm sure I'll get out of it eventually.